| Because I'm A Guy |
| Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to
survive by holding a calculator. |
| Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will
fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we
call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and
when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at
the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up,
one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start." We will then drink beer. |
| Because I'm a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never
get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue. |
| Because I'm a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find
exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know
these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me
to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a
euphemism. |
| Because I'm a guy, when one of our appliances stops working
I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just
cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together. |
| Because I'm a guy, I don't think we're all that lost, and
no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen
to a complete stranger - how the heck could HE know where we're going?
|
| Because I'm a guy, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. |
| Because I'm a guy, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either
pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair
is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? |
| Because I'm a guy and this is, after all, the 90's, I will
share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest. |